twagosta web & graphics


Homer

  Hit "Ctrl D" To Add This Page To Your Favorites

 

  

Send This Page To A Friend!

This web site views best at: 800 by 600 pixels - 16 bit colors or higher.

JOKE(S) OF THE MONTH !!

  Comic Relief  
 
A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party & invited all of his buddies & neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only black man in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, BBQ & flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating gator In my pool I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash & everyone turned around & saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator & kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing the Gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts & Choke holds, biting the gator on the tail & flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning & splashing everywhere. Both Leroy & the gator were screaming & raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator & let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.

Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy. The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"

"No thanks. I don't want it, answered Leroy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche, a Rolex & some stock options?"

Again Leroy said no. Confused, the rich man asked "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"

Leroy said, ' "I want the name of the sumb*tch who pushed me in the pool!"

Cajun Math

A Cajun wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test.

Here is your first question, the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”

“Without numbers?” The Cajun says, “Dat is easy.” And proceeds to draw three trees.

“What’s this?” the boss asks.

“Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,” says the Cajun.

“Fair enough,” says the boss. “Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.”

The Cajun stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

“Ere you go.”

The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?”

“Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree (33), and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.”

The boss is getting worried that he’s going to actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, “All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”

The Cajun stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says,

“Ere you go. One hundred.”

The boss looks at the attempt. “You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!”

The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says,

“A little dog come along and poop by each tree.

So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred.”

The Cajun is the new supervisor.

Too incredible - It really works!
 

THIS IS INCREDIBLE...
Read all the Numbers....
Slowly and in Order!!
Be Careful not to MISS ANY !!!!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30


Scroll down.....................

 

TOMORROW I WILL SEND YOU THE ABC's....

It's so easy to amuse old people.

Useless Fact:

French astronomer Adrien Auzout had once considered building a telescope that was 1,000 feet long in the 1600s. He thought the magnification would be so great, he would see animals on the moon.

Also Visit InternetSpotlight
ONELINERS


© Copyright - twagosta web & graphic - All rights reserved.
Unauthorized reproduction is a violation of applicable laws.
Any Questions/Comments about this website?  webmaster