THE BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you
were not married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a
bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona ,
when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo
woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with
the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag
on the seat next to Sally.
"What in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said: "It's a bottle of wine. I got it
for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the
quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
"Good trade . . ." |
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M Y PRIVATE PART DIED
An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be
very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong. 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr.
Wallace.
'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'
Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she
replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part
hanging out of his pajamas.
He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the
hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'
'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace. 'I told you yesterday that my
Private Part died.'
'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy , 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of
your pajamas?'
'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'
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A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While
en route home, he asks the cabbie if he would be a witness. The man suspects his
wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act.
For $100, the cabbie agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabbie
tiptoe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket
back and there is his wife in bed with another man!
The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouts, "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid
for the Corvette I gave you. He paid for our new Mercedes Benz convertible. He
paid for your Oilers's season tickets. He paid for your Eskimos season tickets.
He paid for our lake front house at Sylvan Lake. He paid for our cottages in
Kelowna and Canmore. He paid for our speed boat. He paid for your country club
membership and he even pays for your monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at
the cabbie and says, "What would you do?" The cabbie replies, "I'd cover his ass
with that blanket before he catches a cold."
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Beer: It's not just for breakfast
anymore. |
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