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Homer

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JOKE(S) OF THE MONTH !!

  Comic Relief  
 

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken back because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and asks, 'Are you the
stripper from the bachelor party that I made love on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery??? '

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No ........ I'm your son's teacher.'

SIGNS THAT YOUR GRANDPARENTS ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE

* Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.

* Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.

* Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn."

* Granny found handcuffed to her walker.

* Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.

* Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice.

* You've just seen their photos in the "Beaver Hunt" section of the May issue of Hustler.

* Kraft-matic adjustable bed set for "doggy style."

A guy is sunbathing nude at the beach.

A little girl comes up to him, so he covers his privates with a newspaper..
The little girl says, What's under there?'

The man says, 'A bird.'

The girl goes away and the man falls asleep.

He wakes up in a hospital and in great pain. A doctor & a policeman are at his bed, and the Dr. asks, "Do you remember what happened?"

The man answers, 'I don't know. I was at the beach and I fell asleep after talking to a little girl."

The policeman says "I asked her what happened?
She said, 'I didn't do anything to the man, but while he was sleeping, I played with his bird. Then it spit at me! ...so I broke its neck, burned its nest, and smashed its two little eggs!"

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

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